


The Silly Adventures of Seras and Pip

by Chris_Stork



Category: Hellsing
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Semi-Serious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-24
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2017-12-27 12:15:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/978736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chris_Stork/pseuds/Chris_Stork
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Tale of a Dead Cop and a Live Mercenary</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

Disclaimer: Hellsing and all other associated copyrights owned by Kouta Hirano and others. Should any one of these parties wish it, I will remove this story at once.

 

 

Word came from ops that the mission had completed moments ago. This was the first mission under Hellsing that the Wild Geese went on, so Integra had sent Seras out to monitor them. She picked up her cell phone and called Seras to get a summary. After a few seconds the call went through.

 

“Officer Victoria.”

 

“Integra here, how has the mission gone?”

 

“Hello sir!” Seras chirped, as overly cheerful as ever, “There were four hostiles, we surrounded them area an hour ago, they had some explosives, but everyone's okay.” No casualties, that was good.

 

“That's good, any civilian losses?”

 

“Uh, none that I know of, I'll ask.”, there were some bumps and static transmitted across the line, as if Seras were pressing it against something. “Did anyone see if any non-combatants got hurt?” A few mumbled replies.”Oh! And has anyone seen my liver?” Integra felt her eyes widen.

 

“Uh Seras, Seras, maybe I should call back.” She didn't seem to be listening.

 

“It's sort-of like a triangle and ... _I don't know what colour it is,_ you're the soldier you tell me.”

 

“ **Seras** , _Seras_ ,” Integra repeated, knowing full well she could heard her, “I can wait for the report, it's no problem.”

 

“Everyone's close by I can get an answer quickly”, she said still upbeat, “Yuri, Sir Hellsing wants to know if you saw anyone else hurt?” More mumblings, then Seras gasped and said something that sounded like 'my leg'. “Mike might know, he's a bit shaken up though.” Seras grunted and Integra heard footfalls over the line. Only it seemed to be missing a set.

 

“Really it's fine, Mike should rest.”

 

“He's walking around now, he's fine.” A sudden thump, a 'got it' and her footfalls doubled. “Mike, did anyone in the house with the skylight get hurt?” Seras asked innocently. A sheepish response. ”Uh oh, Mike blew a hole in the roof with an RPG.” She sounded horribly shocked at this. “You saw a vampire? Good thing she was wearing bright yellow so you could see her better and blast pieces of her everywhere.”

 

_I really didn't need to hear that._

 

“You sound like you have everything in hand, I don't need a report right now.”

 

“Well, it doesn't look like anyone was hurt ... oh!” the sound suddenly became muted. “ _This_ is what a liver looks like... stop throwing up its not that bad.”

 

“Sorry-Seras-losing-connection.” Integra yelled, jammed the disconnect button and then yanked out the battery.

 

_Mental Note: Wait **at least** an hour before doing field calls._


	2. Two

Pip and his senior officers walked into the barracks, their 'report' to Integra finished. Usually when he got runs his hands on a pretty girl's leg it was going to be a good day. That the pretty girl needed that leg to re-attach was just going to give him nightmares forever. As they got close the yelling from the barracks became clearer.

 

“ _Goddamn_ _it_ Mike what were you thinking?”

 

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry!”

 

“ _Fucking Christ_ you're going to get us all killed!”

 

There was more overlapping screaming. Pip quick-stepped the last metres to save Mike's life. Only he was allowed to drag Mike outside and blow his brains out.

 

A few soldiers clustered around Mike, the rest glared at him. Sobel was whacking Mike over the head with his hat while raving about Mike's hygiene, person and parentage.

 

“Micheal, you are on fucking punishment detail until I goddamn say otherwise. Armstrong you lead it” Pip ordered.

 

Pip walked off his officers in tow. They marched to the command room, ready to get really drunk.

 

“Did she say what she wanted?”, Erik inquired.

 

“Non, not yet.”

 

“She's going to let us stew for a while”, Issac said.

 

Pip got out two bottles of scotch and set them down on the table. The men got their own shot glasses. They plodded down in the chairs. Drinks were poured.

 

“Fuck” Pip began as he took a shot. _We're all dead._

 

“Shit” Andre agreed. _Nice knowing you._

 

“Damn it” Erik countered and drank. _Bet she wants a gallon each._

 

“Christ” Issac pointed out. _That seems a bit much._

 

“Shitfuck” Pip added, pouring more drinks. _She doesn't seem the type_

 

“Goddamn” Erik amended. _Maybe a pint._

 

“Fucking hell”, Alex stated. _Like we're so lucky._

 

“Cocksucker” Issac declared. _She might want something else._

 

“Jesus Christ” Erik affirmed and took another shot. _I still say it's blood she wants._

 

“Crap” Pip mused. _Maybe she can take it from Mike._

 

“God-fucking-damn” Erik replied. _Oh that would be soooo nice._

 

“Hell” Alex disagreed. _Again, not that lucky._

 

The argument was cut short by a knock on the door.

 

“Sir, Walter's here. Says he needs to talk to you.”

 

“Let's get this over with” Pip said. They all got up slowly, delaying the execution. Laboriously they shuffled out the door and into the main hall.

 

Walter was waiting still dressed with meticulous care. They slowly approached. Behind him there were covered trays.

 

“Good morning Captain Bernadette, Officer Victoria has informed me of your requested change in dinner services.” Pip nodded, playing along. “Unfortunately we were unable to procure anything less pedestrian.”

 

“And that would be?” Pip ventured.

 

“Fried liver.”

 

Behind Pip someone threw up.


	3. Three

The downpour hammering him, Pip splashed his way to the command vehicle. All loaded up, just waiting for him. It started raining hours ago when Seras left to scout and hadn't stopped since.

 

God personally hated him. That really was the only explanation for the way things were going. He slipped and nearly went down, just managing to catch himself. The rain drops were falling hard enough to hurt. He staggered the last few meters and slammed into the back of the armored transport.

 

“First platoon! Move out!” he yelled over the rain.

 

Engines screamed to life and treads grumbled forward. The rest of the teams would move out on their own. All he and the command staff would do was follow behind. Skidding across the mud he stumbled into the driver's seat.

 

He was not alone.

 

“Jesus!” Pip blurted out as he jerked back. Alucard swiveled his head to face him.

 

“No, you have _mistaken_ me for **someone** else” he relied laconically. Pip tried to settle into his seat, but kept his eyes on Alucard. He took out his gun and began disassembling it. “The walls are old in Hellsing Manor. They listen to the words flitted into the air. They hear and store for those who care to listen to them.” Pip decided he'd rather be out in the rain. “Little words said through the airwaves even.” Alucard finished taking the weapon apart and gently blew out the dust. “Words that mean things beneath the surface.”

 

With that he started putting the gun back together. “I know what has transpired even if my Master does not. Either you are incompetent or you intend to betray us. I will abide _neither_. **But** because my servant has extracted her,” Alucard face suddenly shot out coming inches from Pip's face, “ _pound of liver_.” Alucard lazily pulled back, grinning broadly at his twist of the phrase. “I won't intercede **this** time. _But_ if it happens again.” He finished assembling the pieces and the slide slammed back with an ominous click. “ _I will_. Good hunting Captain.” He vanished without any further ceremony.

 

It took Pip nearly a minute to slow his heart and clear the white haze from his eyes.

 

* * *

Pip was the last to pull into the quarantined area. The target was holed up in an abandoned house in the middle of thin forest. All teams in position. Everything looked like it was going to be easy.

 

That panicked him worst than anything.

 

“Sit-rep!” he called out to his lieutenant.

 

“All set. It's in the house, no movement.”

 

“What channel is Seras on?” Pip asked yanking out his radio.

 

“3B!” chimed Seras over the line.

 

Pip eyed the device warily before changed the dial.

 

“Seras where are you?”

 

“Here!” she chirped.

 

“ _Where_ here?”

 

“Here!” she said in the same cheerful manner.

 

“Seras I really need to know your location.”

 

“Here!”

 

_God, why do you hate me so?_

 

“Will you at least tell me what colors you have on?”

 

“I'm wearing camouflage,” she replied as if sharing the world's most important secret, “It's a stealth mission.”

 

“Seras I need to know where you are so you don't get shot” Pip said through his teeth.

 

“I tried that, didn't work out.”

 

_I don't need this. I don't need this._ He swept his arm across his brow to clear the sweat.

 

“Mike doesn't have an RPG anymore. He doesn't even have a _knife_.”

 

“ _ **No**_.” With that the line went dead.

 

_Perfect, just **perfect**._

 

“Captain, everyone's ready.”

 

“Order them in. Alpha team gets point.”

 

He watched as the teams crept up to the house. No movement other than that on scanners. Seras was able to hear him, so the vampire probably already had. Slowly inching forward, pace by pace.

 

It shot out suddenly. Gunfire pattered about it. A vaulting leap took it over the heads of team three.

 

“Team One mount up. Two Four target is east moving fast!” _Dammit dammit it's too fast._ Pip watched with a sinking stomach as the vampire vanished farther and far-

 

Without warning it exploded. The concussion wave was a physical impact on his chest. “Jesus-“ pieces rained down. Was it a land-mine? Team three drove through there it couldn't- “Christ.”

 

“Target silenced” Seras cheerfully announced.

Something moved in the forest, for a moment Pip thought it was a tank. As Seras got closer he could see that it 'just' a cannon twice her size. She was smiling. _She's happy she might be forgiving._ Pip decided to press his non-existent luck.

 

“Would it be a good time to discuss our meals?”

 

“No.”

 

“Damn.”


	4. Four

The mission concluded. Seras cornered the vampire in a pub and pinned her down. The Geese tried to flush it out with grenades, only for the her to not move and be blasted into chunks. Seras was just far enough away to not be caught in the blast. She carefully picked her way across the hallway, avoiding pieces and parts. Each step judged cautiously, almost there... done! She took a step out from the mess.

Squish. Figures. Sighing, she hopped along on one leg, trying to avoid tracking blood everywhere. As she bounced along the corridor her cellphone rang. She answered, recognizing the number at once.

"Hello Sir Integra!"

"Good evening Seras. How has the mission gone?"

"Well sir!" She replied, bouncing along on one leg. "We pinned the vampire down in a pub about fifteen minutes ago. We couldn't flush it out so the Geese threw in grenades."

Seras reached the door. She pushed it open slowly and spoke for a moment before exiting. "She didn't move and that ended that." She scraped the bottom of her boot off on the stairs and looked at the name-sign. "The Fine Keg?" she asked herself, pressing the cellphone against her shoulder to muffle the sound. What an odd name. "Captain Bernadotte is here he can-" Seras stopped. Disconnected again. Sir Integra needs a better cellphone.

* * *

Integra stared down at the disassembled cellphone. Mental Note: Write down notes. Alucard turned toward her.

"Is my servant falling apart?" Integra glared. She'd make him pay for that image. He chuckled softly and shifted in his chair. "Such anger over a passing comment. Is it 'that time of the month again'?"He smiled darkly at his comments. There was a sudden shift in Integra's thoughts. Alucard had a moment to realize that he screwed up badly.

"Yes, yes it is" she took out a note pad and began writing. "I need these items, go fetch them please."

Alucard felt sweat bead on his back. Not this, anything but this. She handed the paper over. Alucard struggled to keep his eyes from popping out. He had a vague inclination as to what they were for and had no desire to learn anymore. His muscles trembled. There was nothing he wouldn't do to avoid this.

"T-T-There must b-b-be someone a-a-around."

"No, all out" Integra replied smugly.

"W-W-Wal-"

"Walter has already retired for the day. You're the only one around who can" she smiled.

His chest hurt, being staked with the blunt end didn't seem so bad. His knees were soaked paper. He didn't think he could stand for long. He wobbled to his feet, he saw no way out of this. He bobbed his head and staggered out.

* * *

Seras settled in for the day. She picked up her chair and moved to the door.

It was, of course, just an accident when she had been hit with an RPG. It was a panicked reaction and no-one would think otherwise. She jammed the chair under the door handle. It was English Oak, it would hold for a while. Long enough for her to wake.

Master would go through the walls, Walter would knock. Sir Integra didn't come down here. Anyone one else would not be on a social call.

If she had been caught in the grenade blast that would have been 'just an accident' as well. For the thousandth time Seras wished that she had found some other way of demonstrating her abilities rather than knocking Pip across the room. It would be like this until they left. She climbed into her coffin for an unrestful day of nightmares.


	5. Five

Furlough and payday, truly the best day of the year. Pip found a list of the best bars and whorehouses in London from an army 'friend', loaded everyone, except Mike, up and went to burn their pay. First stop: BEER!

The merry wagon was on its way.

* * *

Seras slipped through the darkness. The others were out to get drunk and probably attack some poor woman. She hoped they got hurt for their troubles. She had to push the thought away. She had things to do. Integra told her that some creature, a 'Bwca' was the target. Ordinary they wouldn't care about them, but this one. This one killed a family. Killed them and ate them. She'd make it pay.

* * *

A bar, pub, whatever it was called it served alcohol and they were there. The quiet lie soft over the place. The silence was brutally torn away once the Geese shove the door open. A quick step to the owner to get a menu. He was a lean man with a serious face and a clean apron.

"Sir, what kind of special do you have today?"

"Well we've got fish and chips-"

"Does it have liver in it?"

"No."

Pip smiled broadly, "We'll take a lot."

* * *

She tied down the loose clothing. The movement against her skin was ... horrible. She covered herself in as much gear as she though she could get away with, resembling a mechanical construct. It felt strangely comforting. Machines didn't- No! She had to concentrate. They let her out kilometers from the target area. She was expected to find the creature on her own.

* * *

Carling, Kronenbourg, Stella Artios and some fried grease with fish in it. Isaac already had a lampshade on his head and Erik was talking to the furniture. Was it really an hour since they'd arrived?

The silence politely tired to ignore the loud war stories and lewd innuendo. It failed miserably. The man with the stern face hadn't gotten any happier in that time. Apparently the silence and him were old friends. If his frown deepened anymore his mouth would fall off. Pip laughed at the thought. His head jerked over to face him, still just this side of offended anger. What was his problem? They'd paid. He made sure of it. He was pretty sure. Pip checked his wallet. Yes it was paid for.

Alex slurred something about no beer and lurched up. Only he went backwards. He clumsily reached out and drug the tale with him. A crash and the bartenders face turned an ugly shade of purple.

* * *

It smelled her. The decay of her body, the oils in her weapons. It smiled, it had never eaten undead flesh before. It slipped into the shadows and hunted.

Seras had to rip off the mask. The atmosphere was to close. She hated clinging, touchy things. She pulled in unneeded air through her mouth to try and ignore the sensations across her face. Her teeth were getting sharper.

The air that rushed in tickled her gums. She could close her mouth, but her teeth would cut. Seras did not want to taste blood right now. Blood, it must have some. Did it have a soul to take? She felt none. No! She staggered away from the thought. It followed her quietly and as patiently as evil could.

The Bwca stalked her patiently. She was hard to track at times. Her senseless motions left no pattern. It hungered still.

* * *

Beer depleted and welcome worn out, next pub! Pip assigned the most sober man to drive, which looked like him, and bounced down the street, men hanging out and drunkenly singing. Pip snapped the map out and rambled around looking for the next stop. High-brow establishments, like the last one. Skip. 'Al's Pub', old run-down and very out of the way. Just the type of place for them.

The streets went on forever. Buildings past. Someone threw up. Lights bobbed by. Pip could swear that he'd passed that same building three times. Someone threw up. Lights bobbed by. He looked around. Yes he had. Pip quickly took the next exit from the roundabout and went on.

* * *

Seras no longer knew where she was going. All shattered thoughts on keeping her thoughts. She was not insane. She was normal. She had to fight it. It wasn't her fault that this was happening to her. She was burning. Her dead heart hammered in her chest. The ecstasy of the hunt ran its fingers on her skin, on her face and all along her teeth. It licked those sick desires her death came with. If she could she would have ripped out all her nerves to stop it.

A new thought slammed into her. It would come here. She knew it would it would stand just there. She couldn't see it. She knew its face. She had no idea where it was. She could point straight to it. She hid away and leveled her rifle. It would stalk in from there. Point the gun. Pull the trigger. Bang. Splash. Drip drip blood flowing red hot No! pull trigger pull trigger bang hurt it hurt it make it pay pain crunch pull the trigger hurt splat fall thump blood.

The Bwca waited a moment and then slid to her hiding place. An eternal instant and it would be over. Shadow and shade it flitted through. A silent pleasurable agony filled it. Flesh to consume, desire ate its mind. It snapped out teeth and talons unsheathed.

Her hiding place was empty.

And then the screaming started.

* * *

They fell into the place. A low-brow run down establishment perfect for them. A few subtle signs that booze was far from the only thing they served here. The women with barely anything on was a good hint. The women with pasties on were a dead give-away. Pip strode over the bartender, most likely the owner of the place, judging by the lack of anyone else. And the apron.

"My men and I need some drinks and some...other comforts for the night."

"Well... for as many as people as you have. With my premium bitter... say three thousand pounds." Pip pulled out the last of the money. Damn, low on cash. "I can give you my best bitter for the price of my extra-special bitter. Brings it down to two." Pip smiled, finally a good deal.

"We'll take it."

* * *

The Bwca tried to scream still. Voice shattered, muscles burning and shaking from the strain of living. Its right arm had been taken and devoured to the bone. Hell pursued it, there was no other word for what came after it. Hell was unleashed on him for breaking God's covenant. Friends it had forsaken had been called to. Family and strangers pleaded with.

No-one would help it now.

* * *

"CHUG CHUG CHUG!" Beer flowed, food was plentiful. Whores were everywhere. This was the best part about being a soldier. No plans no worries, just the moment. Dimity was telling the women of his story, every expanding, about how he held back hundreds of soldiers on his own.

Pip grabbed a chuck of fried fish and gulped it down. It was awful, dripping with grease. It wasn't liver.

* * *

Hell grew bored and knocked the prey off its feet. A pitiful wail, a cry for life. Hell cared not. It smashed aside the failing arm, ripped open flesh and devoured. Meat and blood, organs and bile consumed and slaked. Bones snapped, ripped aside, blood, blood blood. One flesh, one meat it wanted above all else. Its veins and arteries pulled away, its heart in her hands, teeth descend and ate.

But something else remained. A last spark of life. Both hands to crack open the last bone. One last feast.

* * *

Pip gulped the not-liver food, drank the not-liver booze and had the very not-liver women. A riot of fun, noise and happiness. A new girl every half-hour and plenty of grilled, fried, seared and cooked meats, and cold beer in between. Money danced out of their pockets. The pub singing its siren song, enticing the fruit of their labors away in exchange for a few passing moments.

It was great.

* * *

Get off get off get off get off get off! Seras slashed stream-water against her skin, the blood would not come off. She shoved her head under, the blood would not come off. The water made her ill, her head twisted and lurched. The blood would not come off. The... thing she ate sat oily in the bottom of her stomach. No matter how sick she made herself it wouldn't move.

And the blood would not come off.

* * *

Money finally ran out. Limpidly they shambled to truck. A good night spent, a moment of fun before work started again. Wearily the truck turned over and edged back to Hellsing Manor. Pip squinted, the streets were blurry now, must be fog. He idled along, getting into an accident now would be bad enough. Together the Wild Geese went back to there new home.


	6. Six

Seras shifted her uniform a little. She needed Integra to believe her story. Her story she gone over a dozen times already. Simple, simple, simple lies were easier to remember. Just a few details, nothing complex. A little truth to it and it would be convincing. Lying was never a good option, lying to Sir Hellsing could easily be fatal. She'd already done it too many times.

More jerking her uniform. It needed to look like there had been a brief fight and put back into place. Smile, smile, smile. Smile and you're not a threat. She pushed the oak door open and walked in. Integra looked up briefly from the desk. A rapid glance at Seras's knees and she put aside her work. Seras strode in front of the desk, came to attention and saluted.

"Mission accomplished sir."

"Good job. Were there any difficulties?"

"No, sir."

And the lie smacked into the desk.

"Were there any problems in finding it?"

"No sir" and the lie bounced around on her desk.

"How was the it killed?"

"I tracked it to a marsh, when it jumped at me I shot it at close range."

The second lie joined the first and waved shyly at the other. "The body disintegrated and I wasn't able to secure it." And now the lies were doing unspeakable things on her paperwork. Integra tried to ignore them, but they were quite loud, and messy. Seras filled out the rest of the details, both real and made-up. Integra kept up as well as the situation allowed. She dismissed Seras when dawn began to break.

She looked down at the remains of her work and the lie family waved back. A peremptory brush put them on the floor. She both needed to see if there were going to be any problems and to give a small warning to Captain Bernadotte.

* * *

Pip woke up with a hangover. Hangovers were lousy bed-partners. They whined, pounded and drove their fingers into your eyes. He staggered out of bed-off the floor-where am I? The hangover wasn't helping, beating on the sides of his head. His vision bobbed and went. A blur. Door handle. It took a few moments to grab it and another minute to successfully open it.

Water. His throat felt liked burned rubber. Cough. Well that was why! And how did he swallow that? He limped out of the closet he'd fell into and tried to find his bearings. He was in the barracks, mercifully enough. The men were more or less there. Strew about the ground like they'd landed there after being thrown from London. He was the only one awake.

Walter strode into the Geese's barracks. He was pushing a cart of some type. It had a tea-set on it.

"Good morning, Captain Bernadotte. I see that you have return from your... furlough." he said as he glanced around. "Would you mind coming with me for a moment. I have something to ask you."

Now what?

They walked away into the east part of the manor. Pip didn't know what was over here, or why the walls and floor were covered in plastic. The hangover stopped beating his head and whined. Walter moved the tea sets to the cart's underside. When his hands came back into view Pip thought his hangover had thrown something at him. Weren't his gloves white?

"I have been going over the past few after-action reports, and I have-"

Pip saw where this was going.

"Alucard's already threatened me."

"Oh!" he looked around, "that was all I needed to speak to you on, uhhh", he dived back under the cart, "tea?" His gloves are white.

"Yes, please."

The tea helped drive the hangover further away. Only a low whining on his shoulder. Good enough for him to ignore.

And, of course, things got worse.

"Captain Bernadotte" His hangover shut-up instantly. It valued not being smeared against the walls. Pip turned smoothly. Not wanting to seem to casual or too worried.

"Sir Hellsing"

"Have you see officer Victoria today?" Why was everyone interested in Seras all of a sudden? She's still in one piece!

"Non, not today."

"Pity. In the future please keep an eye out for any strange behavior." Pip's look begged her to continue. "We believe that she has ingested part of a creature she was sent to eliminate. It is unlikely she would attack anyone. Just watch out for anything unusual." She left for other matters.

Huh?

Today was already too busy. He blundered back to the barracks to relax.


	7. Seven

Pip shambled back to the barracks. His hangover still quiet from Integra. He took the fastest route to killing his hangover and drowned it in more alcohol. His thought processes slowly waking up he limped back to his makeshift bed. He plopped down and waited to fully regain awareness.

A thought suddenly asserted itself. Integra still didn't know that Seras had been blown up. But Alucard and Walter did. She wouldn't be happy they were keeping secrets from her. Not happy at all.

If he couldn't win he could take everyone else with him. 

* * *

 

Seras jolted awake. A half remembered terror. A vision that echoed against the back of her eye lids. Her hair stood on end. As the nightmare faded it left only one impression in the vampire's mind. Soon it wouldn't be a nightmare, but the most wonderful thing in the world.

* * *

Nightfall and she was the Geese's backup again. She kept back over three kilometers from them. It was close enough for her to see and fire, but not for them to shoot her. Seras watched them file along in the ugly transports. She could count how many there were. It was unnerving.

The vampires were hidden in a utility shack just outside London. They had to be quiet or people would notice and make Integra's job harder. Seras kept an unblinking watch. Over two hours and the undead hadn't moved. She heard words on the air. It must have been the wind that carried it to her.

The Geese shuffled out and formed squads. She listened to the radio chatter and hoped the targets couldn't hear them. Seras kept an ear out, worried that they might find her location. Pip called out for a count on the vampires.

"There's four of them." Seras said into the radio.

No response. A few more guesses filed the air. "Four!" Louder this time. Still no response. _Childish little_... She grabbed the radio to yell at him on a different channel. The radio was off. It got colder suddenly. Seras flipped the radio on and quietly told them four.

_Just the wind. Just the wind. I can hear them because the winds blowing._ She kept telling herself on the still night. Pip ordered teams to advance. Four squads of five. Seras saw every detail. All the gear. The leaves and grass pushed aside in their wake. The hairs on their necks. The blood the surged in their veins.

Colder and colder. Seras felt like she was in a grave. Forcing herself away, the thoughts would take her mind if she let them, she focused on the shack. The four noticed the squads coming in. One crept up the stairs. Seras followed its ascent. They didn't realize who was coming. They wouldn't care.

A gun was pointed out a window. Without a thought Seras lined up the shot and fired. The suppressed gun jumped and the vampire fell into ash. If the Geese heard the shot they gave no sign.

Slowly they crept in, the undead too frightened to look at their end. A snap throw, a hail of bullets and that was all.

_Pip is going to ask about the liver, ask him about Mike._

 

* * *

"Yes I'm sure Mike hasn't done anything" Pip reassured Seras.

_I'm gonna kill him._

"Quite sure, would you excuse me for a moment somethings come up."

_I'm gonna wear his fucking moron face as a party hat._

Pip stomped into the support APC. The one Mike had been dumped in. The ill fated private was caught by surprise and tried to snap the laptop shut as the machine blanched in horror. Pip couldn't have cared any less and tore it from his hands. Seras knew something and this was all he was allowed to have. Pip darted over the screen something anything. An icon that wasn't there when the Geese got it, a 'k'. The poor laptop babbled on about the things it had seen.

"What's this" The captain demanded, pointing to the new picture.

"Uh nothing, it's just-"

"When did you get it?"

"It was when we passed that city. There was a signal and-"

Pip stopped listening. The tech guys who gave him the computer were very clear that it was never to be hooked up to anything that wasn't Hellsing. If Integra found out...

"This isn't for you to play on. What if someone got into it while you were goofing off? What if you broke it?"

"Well the tech guys can-oh."

Pip hated himself for what he was going to do. He swung the innocent machine above his head and threw it straight into the floor. The computer's last thoughts were 'come sweet death'.

"Oh now look what you've done _Mike_. Now you'll have to tell the tech guys what an idiot you are and get another one. Only this time you won't stick things on it, _right?_ " Pip stormed out, leaving the man to figure out his excuse.

_Dieu merde Je déteste le foie._


	8. Eight

Seras approached the door slowly. ****

 

Lord Hayward’s manor had been silent for three days. The first police team sent in hadn't answered back. Neither had the second.

 

She was the third.

 

The vampire couldn't smell anything wrong. It was just a very large house. A maybe empty house.

 

If Seras couldn't get in that meant there were still people alive in there and Pip had to hurry. If she could...

 

There was no need to hurry.

 

Her boots sank into the dirt. A pressure in her chest, like her heart still beat. Her hand on the door handle. A moment. She pressed down.

 

The door opened.

 

No hurry.

 

No hurry at all.

 

"I'm in." the vampire said quietly.

 

“Understood” Integra replied. “Scout the first floor and head to the second. Leave the basement for last.”

 

The vampire took cautious steps into the charnel house. She heard nothing. Sensed nothing. It was still. There were not even insects in the walls. Like everything had fled. The paintings and sculptures placed on the walls watched her every move.  She kept repositioning her hands on the gun. The undead girl should be able to sense something.  Even if the attackers were quiet.

 

The hallway passed by.  Her boots didn’t click on the floor. She didn't know how she did that. First room. It opened easily. No sound. She glanced in. Cupboard and tables. The smell of age and wood.

 

“First room clear.” Seras turned back to the hallway. The farther she walked in the worst it felt. The walls didn’t line up right. Every time she turned it seemed they moved.

 

The vampire did her best to ignore it.  Just nerves she told herself.  Room by room she cleared and the sensation crept up her back.  Icy nails driving deeper into her spine.  Her shoulder blades touched.  She wanted the walls to collapse,  The vampires to rip free from their hiding places and attack.  Anything to end the waiting.

 

Another door, when she grasped the handle Seras gasped and recoiled.

 

"What happened? " the draculina had forgotten Integra was still listening.  Seras raced for an answer.

 

"The door,  it felt uhh cold." The vampire hoped it was enough.

 

"What is in the room? " Integra asked cautiously. A twist and the undead girl pushed the door open.

 

"Library."

 

"Check to see if there are any books open." Seras advanced, keeping her ears open for noise.

 

"There's a cookbook,  a physics text and something bound in a folder. " The vampire puzzled on how to say the title when she gave up.  "Letters P N K-"

 

" I know what it is.  Keep searching the house." The resignation clear in the knight's voice. Seras crept back into the main hall. She could hear nothing.  Not even the creaks an old mansion should make.  The wrongness got close and closer each room holding nothing.  She wanted to scream, to break things and end the terror.  And it got worse.

 

Knives slid into her back.  Every step on jagged glass. The walls didn't intersect right.  They bent and somehow remained straight.  Her eyes darted, there had to be a way to make it right. She touched a door handle and cried out.

 

"What happened? "

 

"I-i touched the door handle.  It hurt. " She couldn't stop her hand from shaking.  The knives pierced her wrist. It was getting worse.

 

"It's the handle silver?"

 

"N-no i-it's brass." She glanced around. the noise would have attracted the vampire’s attention. She darted off into a side room. Seras could hear Integra tapping on her desk.

 

“Mark the door and continue checking, I’m sending the Geese in.” The draculina cringed. Just getting worse and worse.


	9. Nine

"We are doing this calmly and by the numbers! No heroism, no flashy stuff nothing!" Pip yelled at the assault team. Razor blades tore through his veins. Buildings were the worst to take.

The men quickly unloaded, formations set and assignments given. They had negative contact with any hostiles and no idea as to their numbers and location. Guns clanked and gear rattled. Pip watched closely. No fuck ups, no fuck ups, he thought. He had a forlorn hope that the freaks were gone, But he never had luck like that. 

"Seras is already on site, pass code is teapot and breakfast." The manor was surrounded, No way the targets hadn't heard. Snipers covered the second floor windows. Pip didn't like this. The mansion was enormous. Hundreds of rooms, thousands of hiding places. This could go so wrong so quickly. 

***

They crashed through the mansion. Seras was already there. If there were vampires still here the monsters knew exactly where the Geese were. Occasionally Pip called out the pass phrase, it wasn't until the middle of the house that he got an answer. 

“Breakfast”, cane the writer return. Pip sighed. Here we go. He advanced boldly into the corridor. He didn't see Seras. A moment of fright that it was a trick. Then the young vampire was just there. She wasn't hiding. She couldn't have been. There was nowhere to hide. Pip shoved the thought away. He had a job to do.

“That’s the room. Sir Hellsing says to not touch anything.” Seras was wary. And not about him. Those razors kept cutting. What’s with this room?

Pip had his team surround the entrance. All ready. He kicked the door in and the squad one raced in. A moment.

“Clear.” PIp looked in. A dining room, the table all set. Some paintings on the walls. Nothing. It was a perfectly normal room. He glanced at the table.

“How long ago did the second team report in?”

“Two days ago.”

“Someone was here not that long ago. There’s still ice in the drinks.” He grabbed the radio. “Start clearing the second floor.”

*********************

Kick, flashbang, all clear.

**********************

Pip took a moment to decide who he wanted with him. And who he’d rather shoot. Taking Mike along was suicide, for him or Mike he wasn’t sure. Leaving him in the transport would mean Mike out of sight. Sticking him with Seras meant that she’d probably find an excuse to kill him.

Actually…

“Mike, Nael stand guard here. Don’t go in.” Proud of himself Pip marched off to do safer things. Like hunt for vampires, in the dark.

***

Mike kept Looking back into the dining room. Why everyone was so upset about it? Made no sense. Nothing special. No bodies, blood or anything strange. The food looked odd. Some type of weird meat. What did rich people eat anyway? 

"Sarge, What do you think they were serving?"

"The fuck do I care? " undeterred by the lack of positive response Mark plowed on.

"Think she'll know?", gesturing at Seras.

"Don't you go fucking ask her"

Mike nervously glanced at the vampire. 

“I don't think she likes me.“

“Gee I fucking wonder why.“

***

Last room. A nod. Kick, bang. 

Clear. Only place left was the basement. 

***

Seras tried to focus. She felt the darkness claw from That Room. Something terrible happened here and she had to get away. Her hand hurt. The vampire wasn’t paying attention to anything around her.

Mike had an ingenious idea. Sir Hellsing hadn't said anything about moving anything with something else. Pleased with himself he scooped up a tray holding flowers and used it to wobble a plate onto it. Careful to not touch the plate or food he took it out to Seras.

“Hey what do you-”, Seras jumped, her hand flew to her mouth and the vampire fled. A moment and she fell to get knees vomiting.

***

Door, kick, flashbang, storm.

The geese obliterated the darkness, guns ready, a moment to unleash death.

They found nothing. The house was a tomb. Frustration grinding up the razors, Pip grabbed his radio.

“House is all clear. No hostiles. Pack it up.”


	10. Ten

_I should have pulled them all back._

_I knew what happened but I wanted to be sure._

_Now I'm down both vampires._

Integra strode into the empty mansion. The Geese were outside executing some punishment on an disobedient soldier. Pushups with someone standing on his back. Integra hadn't noticed all that much. This was her fault. They shouldn't have been there. She knew exactly what happened. But still she sent them in to be sure.

She endangered all of them pointlessly.

Integra walked through the front doors. The Geese were to stay behind. She'd done enough to them already. The government, the Convention, and the Geese all had a job, to keep the people from knowing about the existence of the supernatural. It was her job to ensure that they continuing thinking that vampires, ghouls and few others were all that was out there. That all had been codified and accounted for. The monster under the bed had a name and known weaknesses. It wasn't that simple.

Her father made it clear. Even the Convention couldn't learn of certain things. Knowledge it was better for them to never learn of. Integra kept an eye and ear out for specific words, particular names to watch out for. To cut them away from the bright world lest they be found by the unwary. Just those three letters Seras spoke were enough to let the knight know she had failed. The Pnakotic fragments, broken pieces of a dark tome better destroyed. And part of it here. The fates of all those vanished in this once happy mansion bleak.

She walked carefully to the library. No telling what else had been done here. Entering cautiously, Integra took in the room. Books everywhere. A collection centuries old. She'd need to go through these one by one. First, that horrid stack of paper. Integra opened the manuscript. The Pnakotic fragments. The pages were older than human-kind. Whatever it was written on did not come from Earth. It's pages rent asunder long ago. She hoped they never reunited. Integra lit a cigar and read. An hour passed. She had her answer. Integra calmly stood up, grasped the chair and smashed it into a billion pieces on the floor.

Her hands shook. The cold rage passed her now. The entire family. All the hapless police sent here. They were all trapped in the halls of the King in Yellow. Even if she knew what had been done, even if she was strong enough to challenge the horror in the decaying ruins of Carcosa what would come back would not be any of them. The abominations that had once been people would spread the rot to the green places of earth. They were gone and could never return.

Settling down she walked back to the kitchen and carried as much salt as she could carry. She couldn't feel what Seras felt as the dining room approached. Integra took her steps carefully. Something out here could have been infected. She stood before the open door. Nothing unusual inside. With quiet steps she circled around the table, pouring out the salt behind here. A full circle complete she sat and waited.

It was a full hour later when she felt the pop. A shiver of horror raced down her spine and was gone. The table, the food everything in the room rotted away in a second. The smell was horrifying but even that was soon gone. Nothing remained. The wound sealed and the unfortunates beyond all help.

_It is done._

* * *

Integra stored the manuscript away with the others. Scraps of paper, scrolls, tablets and even printed, bound tomes. None of these could ever be seen. None could ever be safe. She thought about burning them. It wouldn't work and she knew it.

Abraham had tried for a month. None were scathed.

And now to the other thing she needed to take care of. Seras had seen into the Yellow King's halls. The young police-woman was strong. In time she would get better. Having someone to talk to would make her recover faster. The basement was cold and wet. Old smells pilled on each other. It made Integra squirm inside. Alucard was used to such things. She felt that Seras deserved more. The heir of Hellsing reached the young vampire's room and knocked.

"Might I come in Seras?"

A scratching at the door and then it swung inward. Seras had her best fake smile on, carefully hiding her right hand. Integra noticed both, but said nothing. Having a friend would help her through this. Some one to talk to so she could forget what she saw.


End file.
